All Posts · Dear Diary/Life

Diary Entry – October 2013 – “En Fuego”

En Fuego // On Fire.

Dear Diary,

I’ve always found it to be true with these kind of guys.. the ones with a Spanish flare. They are very passionate, usually with a sense of humor, and full of energy. He reminds me of one of those naughty little boys in elementary school who act out in order to get attention from their peers or the teacher. But to match this, he has an innocent persona, & there is something very sweet and lovable about him.. all of these different sides of him are intriguing and attractive. Speaking of attractive…. he is extremeleyyyyy good looking. I thought to myself right away as I saw him, “Well, there’s the guy every girl is going to want. So stare, Bridget, but that’s all you can do..” Turns out I was wrong.

This was my first time sleeping with someone.. sure, I’ve had some small experiences in the past. Then again, too few to mention. But there is something different about the intimacy of falling asleep and waking up next to somebody, and everything that happens in between.

I didn’t want to fall asleep that night. I loved how he took my hand as we fell asleep and interlocked our fingers together and rubbed his thumb against mine. His skin was so smooth, and his hands felt nice on me. He tickled me and whispered cute things in my ear that made me laugh, and would also say “Is this okay?” or “Are you comfortable?” Um, yeah, it was adorable. ♥ If I wasn’t already melting by this point, when my back was to him, he pulled me back into his body and held me there, with his hands wrapped tight around my stomach. I rolled my shoulders backwards, and he started to give me a massage, in which I gave him one in return. I had never been held like this before, or touched like this.

With every movement, I felt more at ease. My leg between his, my legs under his.. my heart was racing, but I liked how that felt.  And for the first time, I felt wanted.

I felt the urge to kiss him, even just on the cheek, but I didn’t. Because, one, I have no guts, haha. But mainly because as I lay there, with my head on his bare chest, I realized that this was enough for me. For that night and that moment, I couldn’t have imagined anything better. He was gentle with me, and a real gentleman. I wanted to enjoy that.

We both tossed and turned throughout the night, in a tangle of arms and legs and blankets. I didn’t get much sleep at all, but you know, if there is a hot guy in bed with you, let’s be real .. you can catch up on sleep tomorrow. 🙂

The night came and went, even though I wish it hadn’t. No, it wasn’t mind-blowing sex, or anything my friends would gasp over, or erotic in any fashion. But for me, it was wonderful. Just starting my freshman year of college less than a month ago, with all my worries, insecurities, and doubts… this night was special to me and will be, always. It was a first –  you don’t forget those. Other firsts are ahead of me, and I think I’m ready.

It’s going to be a great freshman year. I just know it.

xoxo Bridget





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