“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” (Judy Garland)
As my first year as a college freshman is nearing a close, I find myself reflecting on the changes in my life over these past nine months. I have met some of the most amazing people, who I hope I will continue to be friends with throughout the rest of my life. Sometimes, good things and good people just fall into your lap. They say that the best things can happen when you are least expecting them to, and I feel like this year, this could not be more true. I did not expect to find such a great group of people to surround myself with as quickly as I did – and this has made me feel incredibly lucky.
In love… I will not regret what I won’t forget. There have been situations this year that maybe I would go back in time and change if I could, but I can’t. And yet, falling for you.. it was completely worthwhile. I wouldn’t change a thing about that. Sometimes we believe things that aren’t true, because we don’t have enough confidence or security in ourselves to think that things could actually work out for us, for once. I was jaded, and bitter, and I thought the worst because of my past. I was wrong. I know that now. And I know that if only we had gotten a bit closer, if I had my chance with you… things would be different. ♥ Maybe someday that can still happen.
Being fearless, is having fears, but deciding to jump anyway. I went outside of my comfort zone a lot this year, and I feel it was worth it each time. More importantly, though, I’m happy that I have stayed the same person. I was afraid of changing completely, and not recognizing myself when I was done here this year. I’m glad to say that is not the case.
Academically, I definitely struggled at times. It’s a balancing act. In the beginning, everything was exciting and new- I was living away from home, being social, meeting new people.. all of this required a lot of time and energy on its own. But, you’re expected to pull yourself away from all these distractions and work hard, study, maintain a good grade point average, and pave your path to a successful career. It was a lot to handle, and quite frankly overwhelming. I think, slowly but surely, I have learned to juggle all of these things. But sometimes, I may still drop everything and mess up. I have to know that’s okay, too. Maybe I’m not 100% sure on what career I want, or what path in life that I want to take.. but I’m a lot closer. I’m using this period in my life as an opportunity to figure that all out. And when the times comes, I’ll know. Of this, I am certain.
Goodbye freshman year.