Writer’s block – it is something I encounter every once in a while, and although it’s terribly frustrating and inconvenient, I have seen that it has many advantages, too. I often have so many things I want to say, so many things I want to express.. but it is almost impossible for me to translate on paper. I type and I backspace and I retype. I crumple papers into a ball until they are taking up the whole space of my desk, and then at some point.. I know I just have to walk away from it all. “Decluttering” is what I like to call it. I abandon the stories that I’m in the middle of, I leave the last line of a page unfinished, and close the screens with all the new ideas, brainstorms, and pieces of work that I have been straining to make sense of. I break free of the people that I have been writing about, whether it’s good or bad. This vacation from writing, although it’s short, gives me inspiration. It feels like a breath of fresh air, and when I’m finally ready, I head right back into it full speed ahead.
I fall in love with words all over again. I fall in love with him all over again. His smile, his eyes, the way he looks at me. I fall in love with falling in love, and falling out of it. I often come back from a period of “decluttering” and view a situation in my life a completely different way. It’s amazing how once the pressure is off, the mind seems to sort things out on its own. You’re taking turns left and right in a maze of uncertainty, but once you let go of the reigns and relax, you suddenly come upon what you have been searching for all along. This is why I embrace the very thing that writers hate the most, that they curse at and cry over. It is more of a friend than a foe, only there to direct us along the right path when we are struggling.
After a short time away, I realize how happy it makes me to have the ability to express what I feel in something that is all my own. I can create something beautiful and sign my name at the bottom of the page, sending it out to the world. Other people want to read my writing… which is something that means a lot to me and also surprises me. It is quite frankly, something I’ll never get over. If I ever get around to writing a book, and if that book is read by millions worldwide, I will remember the times I sat in my bedroom or college dorm clenching my teeth, biting my pencil, and I will laugh because it is these times that helped me grow and learn as a person and a writer.
So… thank you, writer’s block. You are a good friend to me. One of those friends that you may often get sick of, but at the end of the day, you appreciate them and all of their flaws because they make you see things in a different light. They help you to become a better person and only have the best intentions. I hope to have you in my life forever, and that it’s a journey of exploration and adventure every time you are around, teaching me something new and keeping my spirit alive.
Now, for me, it is back to writing.
p.s. happy decluttering